Lost than the usual lost. 

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, Life felt a little heavier than the rest

I flipped the page of a book I wanted to read since eve,  but my mind was elsewhere submerged in unrest.

Decided to use technology as my escape, played a song here and sent a text there. My heart prompted from beneath the fancy rib cage that all of it is nothing but waste.  Continue reading “Lost than the usual lost. “


Checklist of a Restless Soul.

  • When in the midst of a crowded street even the loudest of sounds turn into oblivion due to the conflicting voices of your mind and heart , know that your soul is restless.
  • When even after pouring your heart out into another vessel. Hoping that the liquid of restlessness will flow out from this vessel of a body into the other and give you some relief. Sadly it is a lost case.
  • When the pressure of the known and the unknown gets too much to bear and you know not what will quench the thirst of your soul. You lie awake at 3 am in your warm bed that sends the coldest of shivers down your spine. 
  • When the tears escape your eyes at the most unexpected moments and wiping away just increases the intensity of their cascade. 
  • When the most unknown yet genuine of touch makes you want to burst like a bubble and engulf in their warm and welcoming aura, leaving behind your dark, restless and unwelcoming one.
  • When nothing seems wrong if it will sooth your crushed soul and yet every wrong thing pricks you worse than before. That never ending conflict between pleasure and morality. 
  • When all you want to do is cut out the people who have failed you, without them knowing that they have.
  • When self harm looks as a bright prospective and facades seem to be coming to rescue.
  • When the world is busy with playing its part in your existence and you are trying to shut it out with all your might.
  • When all is said and done and yet your soul craves to get its last flight.



Blank Space.

with eyes so numb and heart heavy

I watched them take her away .

Was it a lie ” The little coffins are the heaviest” when they say.

It was the story of just yesterday

I held the blessed gift of god in these arms

The gloom of pain was replaced with gay of day.

Her little fingers curled up in a ball

Her deep gray eyes, hidden behind the flutter of lids

The little curls her lips made

a possible smile could be sensed;

There was laughter and mirth even behind the hobnobbing doors.

My heart grew more every time I heard them say –

“she is blessed with a baby doll”

Years passed by as i watched her turn three,

Walking around she just wanted to be free

Oh what bliss it was to hear her call me ‘Ma’

Who else would believed that my kiss would cure all her scars.

Every nook and corner still holds her giggles;

That swing outside;

That white frock she loved;

That space now vacant on her father’s chest,

Where she slept is left with nothing but the skeleton of her breath;

Those questions that shall remain unanswered

From today until forever;

How long before she turns into a princess?

How long before she could be as strong as dad?

All of this and more of that,

she nor I will ever know.

With a blank space in my heart i watched them take her away

With every inch of separation between us

She took the glow from my eyes

And love from my heart.

I feel the void in my rib cage that was once filled with a heart;

“Little coffins are the heaviest” they say,

It was the story of just yesterday.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑