Wake Up!

What do you do when your heart is not at peace with your mind?

I mean I am literally waiting for a reply from the other side of the screen, from a stranger or a friend, just to calm this tornado which is building up inside me.

If I think things through then I would conclude that these disastrous feeling are not the outcome of a sudden outrage or a sudden punch that hit me hard in my stomach waking me up. These emotions have been building up and a lot of things rather events have been contributing in feeding my restless mind. I mean no matter how or what I read, no matter who I talk to, no matter what I watch, the hunger of my mind is just increasing by the hour.

I am sure all of you are well aware of the catastrophes that have surrounded us. I mean if you haven’t then perhaps you are the people who lay on the line of ‘ ignorance is blissful’ , at least you get to sleep in your warm beds not having to worry about the blood that is being spilled on the distant regions of this world. Not having to worry about the pillows soaked with tears or towels used to wipe blood. You are free from the nightmares of hearing a child scream, whose shrill cry turns into oblivion under the falling of the roof which was supposed to protect her. You are at peace because you do not know the compromising situations a female has to face because she owns a vagina and a man with that extra extension of his flesh feels that he is entitled to punish her for the mistakes she never committed. But because she is a woman she has to be punished in some way or the other so the man might as well get some hideous sort of pleasure out of it.

Are the blinds on your windows so thick that you can’t hear the sirens outside?

Okay so I watched this movie long- long back. And it portrayed how the Jews were burned alive in gas chambers. How in the name of concentration camps they were burned like wood. Well there used to be these sirens whose sound was generated by the power created from those burning bodies. Of lately I have been hearing these sirens, the sound coming from somewhere at the back of my hostel. I know that these sirens mean something else but then my mind can’t help but co relate the two. And it’s because people decided not to pull the blinds off their windows the world witnessed a holocaust. Perhaps the world is not yet pleased and wants more.

It could be the event of Palestine or perhaps the Orlando gay club event? It could have been Syria or was the new coined term “Islamophobia” is the thing that triggered these emotions? It could have been the fact that the girls in my institution, that claims to be an English medium, can very well write English but cannot converse in the same and feel ashamed when they must.  I mean who am I to say anything right?

I get to choose what I do in my life. I choose what I study, who are my friends, I can talk fluently in English, I have a loving family, people always surround me, I am cosy in my house safe under its roof and I am never alone. Who am I to say anything on the matters that do not concern me! How can I be a muslim woman and yet stand for and with what I feel is morally right? This is absurd! Right? They will probably use the term “modern Muslim” but perhaps they forget that the wife of Prophet (S.A.W) was the most modern lady of her times. She was an independent business woman and rejected many a marriage proposals till she finally found the one.

It pains me when I feel my hands are cut and I can’t do a thing. Then I open my laptop and start writing. I write because it helps. I write because I don’t know what else to do. I see pain, trouble; hate oh so much HATE around me that I want to scream and pull everyone and ask them to wake up! Wake up before it’s too late. Wake up before there is no scope for you to witness a sunrise that causes your awakening. Wake up and realize that the blood in your veins is the blood that is being spilled. I know it’s a lot of politics and some might say it’s for a greater cause and we humans are just tiny nimsickle particles who should not hinder in such huge matters.  

I could be called a creep by many when I say I smell blood when I step a foot outside. I don’t like the world I am living in. I don’t accept to be helpless and believe that it’s God’s will because trust me no God will cause destruction of its own creation. Destruction to such a level that it cannot be mended! It’s the sick creation of the creator that is willing to cause a physical, psychological and environmental damage that will take years to recover.

 I am waking up but I don’t like the truth that my eyes are witnessing.



Blank Space.

with eyes so numb and heart heavy

I watched them take her away .

Was it a lie ” The little coffins are the heaviest” when they say.

It was the story of just yesterday

I held the blessed gift of god in these arms

The gloom of pain was replaced with gay of day.

Her little fingers curled up in a ball

Her deep gray eyes, hidden behind the flutter of lids

The little curls her lips made

a possible smile could be sensed;

There was laughter and mirth even behind the hobnobbing doors.

My heart grew more every time I heard them say –

“she is blessed with a baby doll”

Years passed by as i watched her turn three,

Walking around she just wanted to be free

Oh what bliss it was to hear her call me ‘Ma’

Who else would believed that my kiss would cure all her scars.

Every nook and corner still holds her giggles;

That swing outside;

That white frock she loved;

That space now vacant on her father’s chest,

Where she slept is left with nothing but the skeleton of her breath;

Those questions that shall remain unanswered

From today until forever;

How long before she turns into a princess?

How long before she could be as strong as dad?

All of this and more of that,

she nor I will ever know.

With a blank space in my heart i watched them take her away

With every inch of separation between us

She took the glow from my eyes

And love from my heart.

I feel the void in my rib cage that was once filled with a heart;

“Little coffins are the heaviest” they say,

It was the story of just yesterday.

The purity in untouchability – myth of virginity.

Living in the 21st century are we? 
He said ” nothing would please me more than the blood that will flow through you when the first time we do it” were the words coming from the mouth of a guy for his beloved, the guy being a staunch believer of gender equality. Why is it that the purity of a girl is judged by the fact of her capability to bleed on her wedding night ? What if she was in love with a boy and sex is after all an act of love and further somehow it didn’t work for whatever may be the reason and they break up. In this situation does the girl has no right to start afresh? To fall in love again, to get married and start a family. Why all the ristrictions on girls when it comes to the talk of virginity. A girl is not a metal that you measure it’s purity on the basis of what other metal has it been mixed with and to what extent. A girl is a girl. She has as much feelings as anyone who is capable of having them . 

I feel disgusted when the “oh so liberal people” of our society , act as goons when it comes to their lives. It’s fine to have sex with a girl who is your girlfriend but a wife well she has to be a virgin. Such hypocrisy burns me from within.

Of all the sort of mix and match of people that society is made of , hypocrites are the ones that sting me the most. A million of tinny glass pieces pierce me at a million different places when I read or hear or encounter such incidents that makes me want to curse God for creating women with such qualities which if once ended at certain circumstance might be the cause of life long pain and punishment to her. 

If a girl gets raped it’s her fault she must have provoked the boy, if she is beaten well she deserves it she must have outraged her man, if she does not bleed on the wedding night she is labeled to be a harlot. 

Of all the towns of all the continents of all the worlds that ever exist , from the past till the present , it’s only the female sex that had to go through trials in order to prove their chastity. These unnumbered labels that engulf the she sex are outrageous . it’s not before long that the last string of their patience will break and the thunderstorm that will follow might creates such huge tides that will engulf the world as a whole.


eople have different ways of portraying their emotions. Some use anger, some tears, some click photographs to speak out their heart’s desire and some , like me , use words. 
HYPOCRITES. Yes they are living breathing “things” around you. They themselves might have done a thousand splendid tasks which are so very socially disapproved by them when someone else does them. This is one of the many characters that will help you recognise these “things”. But if you want to look deeper to save yourself from the claws and clutches of these “things” then you, my friend , need to watch out. They wear all sorts of masks that make you believe that they are your well wishers or your guardian angels but when you really look up close , you see pitchfork hiding behind their halo. And if even now you have trouble finding them then let me give you another of their biological characteristic. When you cut your finger and if that “thing” sees the blood, it might jump up and come yelling to you that it matches to its blood as well! And you might fall for that. You might believe that it belongs to your bloodline and will stand by you no matter what. But as soon as that “thing” gets a chance it will put its pitchfork into that blood and Vallah! it turns black. Just like a black widows venom. 

All that’s said and done. I want to pre warn the humans out there to beware of such “things” called hypocrites. 

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