I started this 30 days art challenge to kill the blue in my life. It was time for colours and words and all sorts of art form to fill up my gaps. So I thought why to do it alone? Why give everyone a task to scratch their rusting brains and put them to work. As it is your creativity speaks volume about your personality!
Here is my first blog in relation to the topic of DAY 1 :
” something I can’t live without”
From throughout the globe I got entries. Entires which were logical to entries which were too bold for the taste of our society to those which spoke volume about a person’s heart finally to the funniest out outputs that the mind could come up with. But none the less I was happy that everyone had something to put forth and be a part of this game.
Remember people : we are here to enjoy and not to judge. So please be supportive and keep playing !
“I wept at age 18,
My letter wasn’t there,
I’d been waiting since the day i got to know what i want to be,
It was late mid night, and i was lost
The night was full of sad vibes and broken Heart.
Dreams and hopes were cutting the heart,
Like an author had a knife and was tearing a soul apart.
A cracky voice of openning the door, a voice full of hopes,
And father was there with a clean paper and a pen.
Asked me to draw my desired life there.
One false line, a scratch, a mistake. Unerasable. So obscure by adding million other tracings, blend it. Cover over.
But the false scratch remains. And shinning as gold blood line. “
*A desire for a perfect life* written and subbimited by miss Isha Chaudhary.
Something I cannot live without, they ask!
I have been asked to write about ‘something I cannot live without’ by a person who has lately started writing and has proved to be one of the finest pens of my age in our campus –I do not know how! It was about some thirty-day game with different topics each following day that the participants have to write on and to my knowledge this, perhaps is the first topic.
So, for ‘something I cannot live without’, I am too lazy to sit and think. I’d rather be practical and write the very first thoughts –sequence wise of course, that comes to my mind while I sit typing on my Dell Vastro 15 which my father bought for me (and for my brother) recently.
When I was a kid of fifteen and a student of eighth grade, I had a huge crush on one of my classmate and she was really a darling. Today, all I could remember about her is of some beautiful smiles, black earrings, and a pink handkerchief which used to carry in her left hand –always, her red cheeks after she finished crying for some weird reasons, her watery eyes that compelled me to fall for her and a textbook of mine that she had finished for me. That was a time when I believed that I cannot live without her. I followed her back to her home every day after the school was over and then waited for the next morning so as to see her again in the school. I stupidly got into I-want-your-notes kind of business with her and never missed a chance to bring a smile on her face. I seriously had some supernatural power of humor then, and sarcasm now, I strongly feel sometimes. Soon everyone (the boys) of our class knew about her charm on me. Later the girls of the class were enlightened with this piece of information and lastly she too came to know about it –about me, I wanted to say. Nevertheless, only a fool like me would not know about this divine enlightenment of my classmates. Soon we were in tenth grade and I had to leave that school and that city for my own strange reasons and I had to confess (I should have used the word propose but I feel shy) her about my feelings for her. I chose March 22, 2013 –the most suitable day to commit this sin. The word sin is intentionally used as to tell you that reflecting any hint of charm and attraction for opposite gender in that age and in a city like ‘Azamgarh’ was truly a sin! Azamgarh is more like Aligarh where people do not accept anything as it is. One either has to fight the society or has to commit these ‘sins’ in dark! Anyway, came the 22nd day of March in the thirteenth year of 21st century with its own importance in my life –firstly I had my Biology board exams which I failed and secondly I had to confess my feelings to that girl. Feeling, as they is bound by nothing, it fears nothing nor it accepts bribes. I since-such-a-looser-I-am was unable to execute my plans that the chapter of ‘her’ ended ever since. It ended in a slow pace –screwing the next two years of my life with a gross change in my behavior and perception towards the society. In no less than two years I came to know that I have lived without her for two years and am capable enough to live without her ever after.
How easily people define love in Indian society has always been a sour gulp of poison for me! Defining love is not possible is what I believe. A person in love has no time to arrange letters into words and then arrange those words into sentences, to define love. Love is faith, far from any logic. Love is passion, away from everything else. Love is patience, invisible to the world. Love is love, always in search of love. By the age of eighteen I had grown up as a boy who had to write, and write. I hated visiting my relatives and preferred to avoid family gatherings. Life was all in between the pen’s nip and diary’s skin. The first thing I completed writing was a story about a boy who wanted to die. It was a dark plot and that darkness made me darker from within. I started believing a plot written by my own self as true and was obsessed with the boy’s character so much that I started living alone. If I tell you truth, I must tell you that initially it was not an obsession. I acted as if I was the ‘boy’. Perhaps because the boy’s future was in my hands and I had all rights to erase his pasts and write a new one. A part of me too wanted to erase its past and write a new one. It grew into obsession. A strange darkness I could see in everything; an unknown sadness in every eye, my eyes met. I found loneliness in smiles. I heard silent cries in laughs. It brought a mixed feeling of contentment in me. I felt satisfied, my soul seemed satisfied. I started loving the ‘boy’! Meanwhile I had come to Aligarh and to live at this city for a few next years of my life. In Aligarh I lived in a hostel which accommodated no less than eight hundred students from different corners of the nation. It seemed to me like a market, with so much rush. Hard to find was peace, and places where nobody could find me. The ‘boy’ in me wanted to stay alone. I tried to discover loneliness in my hostel but each corner was either occupied by love-birds busy on phone or high-men occupied with grasses! Soon, the part of me that compelled me to act like the ‘boy’ of my plot started feeling weak. I smiled while people laughed and the boy resisted. With time I started laughing when people laughed and the ‘boy’ stayed silent. He died somewhere in me. I, a few months ago, had a belief that I cannot live without that ‘boy’, though I lived without him all those while. It was an illusion, a mind’s play, an imagination that faded.
As of now, what I believe and want my readers to believe is that I or anyone in that case can live without anything. What is more important to a human life is Oxygen followed by water and food. Oxygen, with no doubt is the only thing you cannot live without. And now I am least concerned about concluding this passage rather am I thinking of the reasons I failed my Biology board exams!
Sumaiyya Fatima can’t live without trees . The kid said it right . Time for a wake up call people !
And last but not the least . It’s the feel of winters that I can’t live without !
P.S the topic for day 2 is ” something or someone you dislike ” keep playing , keep it clean and keep it interesting !!